In Memory Of

Our white brothers and sisters

Radical friends

like to dedicate everything to you

your memory ignites their movement

They make movies about how revolutionary they are

Put on events for the "entire" community

And even though almost everyone there looks exactly like them

They hold their events in memory of you.

When you were alive,

our white brothers and sisters

Radical friends

wanted nothing do to with you

A poor Nicoya immigrante      

You were still learning English

Your SRO in the Tenderloin

Was far from the safety of their gentrified vegan-friendly co-op overflowing with bicycles.

You might have asked them for a cigarette

As they rushed off to their community building planning meeting

Ignoring you en la calle.

Our white brothers and sisters

radical friends

created a San Francisco Trans March documentary

and at the end

"In Memory of Ruby Ordenana"

Lo siento muchisimo mamas, that I couldn't say anything

That I was frozen by my anger and my grief

That I couldn't scream out in the crowded movie theatre

RUBY ORDENANA WOULD HAVE NEVER GONE TO YOUR RACIST FUCKING MARCH THROUGH THE CASTRO

That I couldn't stop them from romanticizing and appropriating your life

One year and three months after your body was found naked

Tossed aside como la basura  debajo de la freeway.

Our white brothers and sisters

radical friends

read all about your murder in the paper

It made them worry for their own safety

"How could this happen in San Francisco?"

Those white brothers and sisters

radical friends

live lives far removed from what you faced on the daily.

Fotos y recuerdos

are all we have of you

Just like your favorite Selena song

But our white brothers and sisters

radical friends

would never know what your favorite song was

They would never know that your dream was to start a support group

para mujeres como tu.             

They would never know what it was like

to organize your vigil

to stand with your friends and service providers

at the site you were found.

They would never know how beautiful you were in life

because all their enjoyment comes from your death

thinking about how progressive they are

paying you lip service with "In Memory of Ruby Ordenana"

at events you never would have attended.

Our white brothers and sisters

radical friends

would not have liked you as much

in the flesh.

Because even your memory is far too fierce

to be contained within the momentary flash of a disingenuous

"In Memory Of".